"A tough pill to swallow"

"A tough pill to swallow" is how a friend and fellow OT cohort described the realization that working in an adult rehab setting might not be the best environment for her. I like the medical analogy and I feel the same way. It could have been that I had to get up really early (I'm not a morning person), or the specific parameters of that particular skilled nursing facility (SNF), a post-acute rehab setting, that contributed my feelings.

I got better at the treatment planning, documentation, and quality patient care. My biggest strength being that I always had great rapport with my patients. However, there were many times that I felt like a walking mistake, or wondering when I was going to make another one. A PT noticed I wasn't smiling anymore, and mentioned it to me. For a few weeks it was difficult to even smile at work, I was so concentrated on not making mistakes. I wasn't even myself anymore.

The bulk of my concern was on pleasing my supervisor, and really trying to succeed. I often felt I was on my supervisor's bad side. I disappointed her when I ran a group poorly, had a to rewrite a documentation note or didn't anticipate my time correctly. I really took her negative feedback personally. It was really hard not to. I tried to tell myself, "I'm learning, I'm a student", but when we sat down to talk about my progress I felt that I was lacking in my what it takes to be a great OT. I would question myself, "do I have what it takes to be a great OT?" In the back of my head I know that I will become a great OT, but that's just it, it has to evolve over time, it doesn't come over night.

About 1/2 way through the internship, I got a wake-up call: she told me, "you should know this by now". That is when I realized I had to use other resources other than the ones I was given. My ability to grasp concepts is not difficult when given the tools to do so, and when I was in school I always had other students and teachers to turn to when I struggled.

There could have been many aspects of working in my last internship contributed to my struggle. However, I learned so much from my internship about myself and my ability to grow and adapt in difficult environments, in addition to all the on-the-job knowledge.

I am now working in the Mt. Diablo School District, and I really love it so far. I really love being around children, they often want to play and have fun! Now that's therapeutic. The hours are great, and often get home early and start a little later. I have so much more energy; that is really going to help when working with little ones. I have a great supervisor. She is outgoing and fun and gives consistent positive feedback. :) I'm looking forward to treating children and developing my skills in the pediatric environment.